You’re Turning 30. Get Over It!

 

I remember, even as a teenager, hearing women speak on the fear of becoming thirty years of age, how turning thirty seemed to equate with your life being over.  Seriously?

I’m currently about a year and a half away from becoming thirty, and I have no qualms about it.  In fact, I’m looking forward to a new decade of insight, experiences, self discovery, and life achievements.  Looking back on my twenties, though I’m not completely through with them yet, doesn’t give me a fuzzy feeling inside.

I experienced a lot of loss, growing pains, life changes, and confusion.  It’ll be refreshing to get further away from that era of my life.

During my thirties, I’ll get to witness my kids going through puberty, graduating from high school, going to college (hopefully), and becoming young adults.  I’m sure I’ll also experience empty nest syndrome during the latter part of this time as well.

In conclusion, look at dirty thirty as new life venture, not a nail in your coffin.

Monogamy is a Choice, Not a Must

If you read celeb gossip blogs (a guilty pleasure of mine), than surely you’ve read about the Chris Brown-Rihanna-Karrueche love triangle that I’ve dubbed “Chri-anna-che”…though I’d much rather refer to them as CRK during the rest of this post for typing purposes.

This post isn’t about CRK though, it’s about what they currently represent, despite the rumored break ups and denials.  I truly believe they’re all involved in an open relationship with one another, and they’re all fine with it.  Is it wrong to be in an open relationship?

Monogamy isn’t for everyone (Exhibit A: Hugh Hefner), so why does it seem to ruffle our feathers and make us gag a little when we witness and/or hear about such relationships?  Because a lot of us have been taught that we should all be one-woman men, one-men women, one-woman women, and one-man men.  I get it.  I was raised that way too.

BUT, despite mommy and daddy’s best efforts (or not), some of us get into romantic relationships with more than one person at a time.   In a lot of cases, someone has been mislead to thinking that it only takes two to have a wonderful commitment (Exhibit B: Maria Shriver).

It is my personal opinion, that open relationships are cool if all parties are aware of each other, and are committed to the open relationship.  No one is being hurt or deceived, so I have no qualms with it.

I prefer being monogamous, since I don’t like sharing someone I have deep romantic feelings for–I’m not immune to jealousy.

DMAE is a Boss

After telling my friend about how I suffer from the Winter Blues (thanks for the self diagnosis WebMD), she suggested that I try taking some DMAE, a metabolite.

After a couple weeks of surrendering to this stuff, I can honestly say that I’m feeling a lot more shiny and happy than I normally do this time of year.  I feel like the weight that was on my shoulders has nearly disappeared, and I love it!  Everyday isn’t a cold mental prison from my perspective–it’s now become a day with new possibilities that I look forward to, and the cold weather is just a minor hiccup that can be tolerated.

I do recommend DMAE for anyone else who may deal with the Winter Blues or mild depression.  I’m not a clinician, so don’t take my words as a valid prescription.

I believe when you find something that has been beneficial for you, that you should share that something with others.

Before you think about taking prescription pills, try a natural supplement first.  You may be surprised at what nature has to offer!

The Single Introverted Mom

I consider myself an introvert for a variety of reasons, but as I’m discovering being a single mother of two, being an introvert has its drawbacks.

An article I came across by Jonathan Rauch titled “Caring for Your Introvert”, is a must read for everyone.  It’s a well written piece pertaining to generalities of introverted people, and also debunks stereotypes associated with people of these personality types, such as myself.

For awhile, I thought of myself as not being fond of humans in general, but it turns out, I just can’t stand the amount of time and energy that’s expected for me to devote myself to them, even those that are close to me.  It’s a recycled task that I’m not always willing to do.  If people wonder why I’m more active on social media than I am in person, it’s because with social media, I can easily step away, and I don’t feel the need to hold constant conversations in person.  The same goes with texting. There are lots of times when I just want to be ALONE with my thoughts, to bask in solitude, using that solitude to read, write, draw, or play Words With Friends…whatever it is that doesn’t involve having to deal with the attention of another person right then and there. I appreciate having company on occasion.

My mom is always telling me that I need to get out more, and I agree, but I know “getting out more” involves being in some sort of social situation, usually.  If I go out, I prefer to go with a friend or two, since the energy of people I adore gets me going.  When I’m with friends, I become ambivert; the excitement of having a good time together gets me pumped, and since I don’t go out much, I want to make sure I’m making the best out of that time!

 

I believe children should have at least one activity outside of school to participate in, whether it be a sport, dancing, art, or music lessons.  I practice this in my household as well, so that means having to deal with other people, and being thrust among large groups of people.  I don’t like being in or around crowds.  I’m very grateful though, that my children are now taking art classes, something that doesn’t involve me having to be in the presence of strangers for more than four minutes.  I drop them off, and pick them up–simple!  When my daughter was into dance, and my son into soccer, I had to force myself out of my comfort zone constantly.

Having kids, especially elementary school age children, is tiring, especially when one of them has an extrovert personality.  Party invites are always coming our way, and I dread seeing them every time, because I know this means I may be forced into an uncomfortable situation.  Aside from that, having small children requires giving those children lots of attention, something I’m not always up for.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my children, and would accept a burning at the stake for either one of them in an instant, but I do wish someone trustworthy would take them off my hands periodically so that I can enjoy some true peace and quiet!

Dating is a drag too, since this requires meeting new people, and spending time with them.  Being that I enjoy my alone time, perhaps more than the average person, the idea of making time for someone is a hurdle I have to learn to jump again.  It’s hard enough meeting and dating someone offline, since this requires being at the right place at the right time.  As I mentioned before, I don’t go out much, so I’ve done a lot of online dating.  That’s how I met my ex-husband.

I do want to get married again, but I fear not finding someone who will totally understand and respect my personality.  Whoever I end up with must know that I’ll enjoy spending time with them, and won’t mind, as long as I have time to myself as well.  I can be moody and unreasonable when I don’t get time to unwind.

I want you to know, that I’m not a weirdo (depending on who you ask), that I’m not depressed, or hate people.  I’m just someone who prefers being with themselves more than I prefer being with others, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  Nothing at all.

Trying Not to Go Mental

 

Seems like I’ve been busy non stop since this past summer.  I can’t recall ever having so much going on at once!  My daughter had her first dance recital in June, so that took a lot out of me with all the rehearsals.  My son was killing it on the soccer field, scoring four points in the final game of the season, and I was readjusting myself to being in the work field again, after nearly sixteen months of living off unemployment benefits (I kept busy with writing and volunteer work between seeking permanent employment).

Meanwhile, my new living space (a remodeled finished basement), is still under construction, but very close to being complete.  I’m hoping my spawn and I will be completely moved into our new habitat by the middle of next month.

Time isn’t standing still, and it sure doesn’t give a shit about giving me any extra hours to fit into my day…twenty four hours isn’t nearly enough when you’re a single parent who works, has to attend all the activities of your children, maintain a household, and get my own stuff done, such as marketing my books and drawing!

I’m trying not go mental, since I enjoy having a routine, but I don’t have a choice but to deal with bearing this uncomfortable feeling until the remodel is done.  I don’t look forward to the physical aspect of moving, especially when it involves having to take down and put back together furniture.  I can only hope that it all goes smoothly, since some days I feel as if I’m one broken nail away from having a melt down.  If only I had more patience and time, if only.

Seems like when we’re children, the days go buy soooooo slowly, but when we’re adults, we can’t believe how fast the clock hands burn up the universe.

Let’s Videoblog!

 

PSA: Why This Person Supports Obama, and So Should You

No president is perfect–neither is any human I’ve ever met, but there’s no doubt (hush naysayers) that Obama has done A LOT since he has been in office.  This is not an opinion: it’s a fact.

Red is a Whore Color

Sorry in advance to all you red lovers, but apparently, you’re a whore.  Yup.  Probably a dirty one too.

When I  was around twelve, I distinctly remember my mother telling me, after I eyed a bottle of her red nail polish, that “Red is a whore color”.  At that time, I wasn’t educated in whore studies, but the way my mother said whore let me know that it wasn’t something I should aspire to be, let alone imitate, even through my fingernails.

For ages, even now, I can’t stand the color red.  The only red things I own currently, were given to me (by my mom, coincidentally–no, I’m not a whore, how dare you!), or was something I had to buy in that hue because there was no other alternative at the time.  My distaste for the color red runs deep, and I find myself ashamed when I see a woman wearing red lipstick, because my mother’s words keep replaying in my mind, like a dysfunctional tape recording.  

I’m surprised I eat red foods, and buy red things for my children.  I surely don’t think they’re whores.  

It’s not all shades of red I’m against, exactly.  I can accept burgundy, crimson, brick and maroon…but cherry red, scarlet, fire engine red…gives me nausea.  And just RED, plain old red, gives me emotional hives.  

At this point, you probably want to know if I think red is a whore color.  No, I don’t.  That’s ridiculous.  Most whores I’ve ever known seem to take to black.  I guess whoring requires an incognito persona.    

Looking back on that situation, I was in the pre-stages of puberty, and my mother probably felt the best way to keep me from dancing on the city line of skank town was to say something that would deter me from ever imagining it.  She meant well, in her own way, so I don’t hold it against her, but I do wonder what my life would be like if I didn’t have such a stance of discrimination against one of the three primary colors.  

I’ll never know.

Working It All Out

After a small hiatus, I have managed to return to blogging.  Understand, my good people, that I didn’t intend on leaving you high and dry, but I got a new job about a month ago, and the time I used for blogging, writing books, and other things, has now been taken up with hours of paid work.  Believe me, I’m more than glad after being in the land of unemployment for nearly sixteen months.  Yes, sixteen loooooong months my friends.  If it wasn’t for the positive words from loved ones, hope, and faith that God didn’t have a vendetta against me, I would’ve went completely mental.

I’m glad to say that my mom’s recurring advice of “something good is coming along, you just have to be patient” has taught me to do just that.  There were so many rough times, like when my car had blown up after a much needed night out about two months ago, and going on more than ten interviews, feeling instantly after shaking the interviewer’s hand, that I wasn’t gonna get that particular job.  All that pain and uncertainty finally paid off (along with my education of course; I have a BFA and MFA) with a job that I truly enjoy, and look forward to going to.  My boss is also a gem, truly the best I’ve ever had.

I think one of the reasons I was out of work for so long, is due to experience; I was either OVER qualified or UNDER qualified.  I had the education, but not the on-site experience for some jobs, like certain writing positions I applied for.  I was too educated for a simple receptionist or office clerk gig.  My job outlook was looking bleek, and I couldn’t help but wonder if going to school and racking up student loan debts that would go unpaid even if I died at the tender age of one-hundred and one, was all for nothing.

Of course, no good deed goes unpunished, and now I have to try and keep a healthy work-home balance, as I had to do before.  That’s one of the reasons I chose to post that image of my keys and keychains to this post: it represents all the different aspects of our lives that we have to manage.  We have keys that we need, but barely use.  We have keychains that humor and/or remind us about the things in life that we cherish, or value.  We need all these things, on assorted metal rings, to keep near us, in order to maintain a sense of order.  I currently have five grocery store cards on my keyring.  Why?  So no matter where I am, I can still save ten cents on a can of generic tuna, and because depending on my mood, I can choose to drive further or nearer to one of my local grocery shops.  It’s all about being prepared, and reasonable.  Having a pre-plan.

Anyway, I’m more than happy to be back in the working world, especially since my commute is less than ten minutes in the morning.  How awesome is that?  Low travel, my own office (a first), swell boss, and a satisfying job position.  I have truly been smiled upon by The Great One in the sky

If you’d like to read a take on my life during my time of unemployed bliss (ha), then read my latest Kindle book, LaRae in Waiting, that I finished writing about a week before starting my new job.  Please leave a review on Amazon when you finish enjoying it.  Thanks

I Only Paint My Toes

It pains me not to paint my finger nails, I rarely do it.  There’s no point when I know they’re gonna chip within twenty-four hours.  I’m a single parent that has to wash dishes daily, cook, do my daughter’s hair, and of course, wash myself, and all these things put stress on dried nail polish.

All the time spent applying nail polish, waiting for it to dry, and sometimes adding custom art, seems like a total waste when the polish decides to kill itself slowly on your fingers.

About a year ago, I was on a mission to find a nail polish that would go at least three days without chipping, but I wasn’t successful, and didn’t want to waste money on products that were only going to disappoint me.

My question is, has anyone come across a nail polish that will put up with at least three days of hands-on living (as I like to call it)?  If so, please reply to this post, so I can try it!  I’m tired of only being able to paint my toes; my finger nails deserve to be pretty too!