Red is a Whore Color

Sorry in advance to all you red lovers, but apparently, you’re a whore.  Yup.  Probably a dirty one too.

When I  was around twelve, I distinctly remember my mother telling me, after I eyed a bottle of her red nail polish, that “Red is a whore color”.  At that time, I wasn’t educated in whore studies, but the way my mother said whore let me know that it wasn’t something I should aspire to be, let alone imitate, even through my fingernails.

For ages, even now, I can’t stand the color red.  The only red things I own currently, were given to me (by my mom, coincidentally–no, I’m not a whore, how dare you!), or was something I had to buy in that hue because there was no other alternative at the time.  My distaste for the color red runs deep, and I find myself ashamed when I see a woman wearing red lipstick, because my mother’s words keep replaying in my mind, like a dysfunctional tape recording.  

I’m surprised I eat red foods, and buy red things for my children.  I surely don’t think they’re whores.  

It’s not all shades of red I’m against, exactly.  I can accept burgundy, crimson, brick and maroon…but cherry red, scarlet, fire engine red…gives me nausea.  And just RED, plain old red, gives me emotional hives.  

At this point, you probably want to know if I think red is a whore color.  No, I don’t.  That’s ridiculous.  Most whores I’ve ever known seem to fancy black.  I guess whoring requires an incognito persona.    

Looking back on that situation, I was in the pre-stages of puberty, and my mother probably felt the best way to keep me from dancing on the city line of skank town was to say something that would deter me from ever imagining it.  She meant well, in her own way, so I don’t hold it against her, but I do wonder what my life would be like if I didn’t have such a stance of discrimination against one of the three primary colors.  

I’ll never know.

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5 thoughts on “Red is a Whore Color

  1. You see, this is a fear , and irrational fear, for you. Right now it is an irrational problem for me. I’m 13 years old … My mom would never let me paint my nails red. Even on Valentines day . Every one else could , I mean why not? It’s just a color . A primary color. Nowadays whores wear short mini skirts NOT all red. And to think, my mother, bieng a painter herself. You’d think she would agree it is just a color. It’s angers me. I could yell at her for hours. But when she wants to she will be completely opposite. She wants to wear red lipstick….GRRR!!!!!!! She doesn’t quite understand English and this countries views . Even in Mexico her home country they have the same views. She always refers to things she doesn’t like as “clothes for old women like me” when my mom is 35…anyways she is usually jelous of me because she didn’t have these things as a kid. She’s and extremely jelous person and she hates red. Great, old ,mom

    1. Well, my mom wore read, did the red lipstick thing too, so I’m not sure if it’s really about being jealous, or maybe it’s just that your mom knows that red = attention, and perhaps she doesn’t want any pervs coming your way. I don’t know. But don’t discount your mom–she’s still your mom, like it or not, and if I can forgive my mom (though it did takes YEARS), I’m sure you can forgive yours too. 🙂

  2. Depends on who the whore is. Please get Sophia a package of humour, there’s a special on Amazon right now: a maxi pack of red balloons and a Reagan mask thrown in if you order 3. Free shipping too. I’ll be back to repost this… around the 20th. I’m writing a post about the five funniest stories(flash…not fiction….loads of flash) I’ve read recently. Be good. Stay down. Don’t respond: this is a recorded message.

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